Thursday, September 29, 2005
--
wahahah
my L1R5 is eligible for JC..!!
woohoo
tot i cant make it sia
kk hopefully i'll be in MJC or TPJC
for the 1st 3 mths
den at TJC or VJC for the rest of the year
yeahh
i feel sooo damned motivated
cya 8pointers in march..!!=D
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 7:47 PM|
__________
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
-th-
actuali my results
are quite ok in a sense dat
i improved la
all my subjects at the 60 range liao
last time i confirm haf 3 or 4 fail one
dun bliff can ask last time mi klazz ppl lor
budden wad im sad about is
not meeting expectation la
dats the VERY thing dat hurts me
First..my parents
when i told dem my results
dey were quite shocked oso la
cuz prelims dat few wks i studyin v hard
watch tv oso nv watch 10 mins
plus..i got my mp3 frm dem lor
den mi mum sae
hope dat i'll pay her back wif
a vjc uniform
hmmm
sumore dey nv scold mi
dats why it hurts la
sumore tongwei oso
i reli no face face him liao la
he spend so much time on me n kw
den
i nv gt a1 for both my maths
btw amaths b4..emaths a2
yaa lor
he haf Alevels this yr too
he still took the time to mentor me
den the result lidat
i dunno la now
lost le
everytime i take exam
will haf this CUF
aka Cock Up Factor
for some reason
the CUF will let me lose 10+ marks
2 grades...........
YES..my chem kena CUF
my maths also kena CUF
physics prac oso CUF
i wonder if theres a antidote
seriously if my O's oso CUF arh
dunid go vj liao
soo muz decrease or eliminate CUF
how..? im finding a solution
practice..? maybe bahs
not say i nv prac enuff
maybe nt exposed to much qns bahs
dats y panic
den will cock up
nice theory
yupp future plans..
i devised one
" Malcolm's VJC Entry Plan "
AKA MVJCEP
err
which means
O level study plan la
yupp
i'll try to ace it
no double faults
only aces lol -.-
many ppl sae
i can do it
but can i relii
dunid to answer
i noe myself the best
Sec1 till now i've been slackin la
nw is time for me to reli
do sumthing for miself
take chancemake a changeand breakawayat most go tjc lor
wont die de rite
aiming for single digit
if i work hard
I DONT BELIVE I WILL FAIL
if i do...
i dunno wad i'll do to myself
honest
aiya im too paranoid
but dun feel lyk studying nw
confidence is at all time low
i tink nw u throw me one
integration qn i oso will wrong
when shall i start
according to MVJCEP
is nxt monday
exactly one mth before
hope dat
my confidence and
my smile return la
wont be smiling much these few weeks
sorie guys
im off to watch champions league
i hate slping
makes me think of unhappy stuff
so i tink everidae i'll tire myself out
so dat when i BOOM on the bed
immediate sleep
woah this entry so long
maybe it'll gt longer nxt time
when i haf nth to do
frm jan to march nxt yr
sadz la
kk i tink i better stop here
i always tell ppl to stay happy
yet i cant do it myself
wads the point..?
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 11:30 PM|
__________
--
yeah
im fine as alwaz
im lidat la
depress and whine for awhile
den i'll do sumth abt it
its my way of facing unhappy stuff la
okay
time to stand up again
life goes on anyway
going to vj no matter what
juz wait and see
i'll get my 8 pts
iff so many ppl can do it
i dun bliff i'll lose to dem
no way
im motivated
lets do this
i onli haf
ONE SHOTIM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 9:10 PM|
__________
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
--
after a nap
i came to my senses
i shudnt blame anybody
abt my life
i shud tink how to rectify my mistakes..
yupp all the way
malcolm's bacK.
hopefully for good
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 11:09 PM|
__________
--
why do bad things
happen to gd ppl
i put in effort
and didnt get returns
maybe i didnt put in enuff
maybe i did
who knows
WHO IS DERE TO TELL MEGODDD..!!!!!!ARE YOU HERE..?!sometimes you make me wonder
is me gettin crap results
part of ur plan for me
if it is
IT IS SO NOT FUNNNY
i've nv been this depressed
since last yr
if God wants me to get shit marks
i haf nth to sae
much less any power to stop it
i've done wad i can do
leaving up to him
is NO LONGER A SOLUTION
i rather trust myself
i rather turn my back
life never looked so dark
im oso beginning to lose faith
Father...!!!!
where are you..?!!
im sooo fuckin fed-up
i cant take this anymore
I DOUBT UR EXISTENCEI DOUBT UR CLAIMSrararrrrrhhhhh
if u all tink dat
im only ranting
then ure wronG
nobody understands
NEVER know this feeling
of being abandoned
if the world abandons you
well..
abandon the world
dats all i hafta say
Now i'll trust myself for everything i do
THANKS ALOT God
ure reliable..as always
IM NOT O FUCKIN KAYY
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 5:08 PM|
__________
Sunday, September 25, 2005
--
"Deep And Meaningless"lyrics:RoosterMusic:RoosterI, I dont know why i miss you so much
Yeah I, I dont know why I still feel your touch
You, you left me feeling high and dry
With nothing, nothing but the question why
Yeah you, I guess you had another direction
And leaving me with nothing but a dead connection
[Chorus:]
If you call me today
I'll say that Im fine
But I bet you can tell by the tone of my voice
Its just a lie
You knew what you had
You still walked away leaving me in this mess
My love for you is deep and meaningless
You, you knew what you were doing to me
And I, I guess I was too blind to see
Well you hit where it hurt and you fooled me so bad
But I'd do it again to relive what we had(Damn thats sad)
There are many things left to remind me
Of a love that I just cant leave behind me
this song is roxing
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 8:21 PM|
__________
Saturday, September 24, 2005
--
Prelims are over
and im confused
about wad..?
if i tell you
you might tink im mad
seriously..
haha dont worry
i'll sort it out myself anyway
im the problemo
wahaha i feel so proud of miself
yupp..time to sleep
im brushed and pissed off
nahh im juz joking abt the pissed off part
im gothic..any problem with dat
how i dress..wad i do
is dere a prob wif the WORLDDD..?
IS LOOKING DIFFERENT
A SINNN..?!!!
bahhhh
juz exaggerating
good nitEX everyone
Have faith and you will have the powerIM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 12:29 AM|
__________
Monday, September 19, 2005
--
mondayyy is ovverrrr
haha
but sian
i was complacent
in the end
i semi-flunked the amaths paper2
wahh biang
haiii
nvm haha
at least tmr emaths paper1
den go home liao
nt bad
im looking forward to fridayy
LOL
hahaha keep up the gd work ppl
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 8:29 PM|
__________
Saturday, September 17, 2005
--
the toughest papers are over
after monday
the prelims are more or less over for me
pheww~
wad a ride..
yupp
im gonna play my ass off after nxt wk
haiii
im tinking too much again
some stuff are destined
no use fighting fate
i shall walk away for real this time
nt dat its u guy's business rite
dun worry im juz toking crap
dun mind me
i juz nid an avenue to shout my tots out
jiayouus guys few daes left nia
drawing closer to Gerrad Way wahhaa
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 12:08 AM|
__________
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
--
the first few daes of the prelims
was quite smooth sailing
not much problems la
maybe except lit and ss
i tink i wun do v well
but amaths
HAHAHAHA
EASYY SHIIITT
only maybe a few mistakes
here and dere
but nt much
MY a1 is within siggHT..!!
lucky sia
no RV..
or else byebye 7 marks
yupp i feel so motivated
tmr's chem
i muz pia gt high marks
cuz prac cant make it
soo a1 OK..!!=D
jiayou sec4s
its onli lyk a wk plus onli
den its ovER..!!
good mood 2dae haha
cuz nobody spoil my dae wahaha
amaths..fragged
NEXT
Chemistry
Emaths Paper2
Physics
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 8:35 PM|
__________
Sunday, September 11, 2005
--
its one more day to the prelims
hmm
a few more hours to be exact
GULP..
im scared man
chinese and ss
both of them i scapped the surface onli
hope dat i can make it la
scared scared scared
i better do well or else
1st 3 mths can go eat shit le
wahh biang
stress haha
the sec4s oso feelin tis way bahs
haha at least im not alone man
muggers UNITED..!!=D
yaa noe when the prelims are over
im gonna haf my eyes
drawn lyk Gerrad Way frm mcr man
its lyk sooo cool
but i hafta spend some $$ on A LOT
of eyeshadow..woo
cant wait
haha
heyy ppl
look 4ward to seeing
malcolm the vampire when the prelims enD.!
okayy lets mug
IM
NOT OKAYYYPEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 3:12 PM|
__________
Saturday, September 03, 2005
--
when the world gets in my face
i SAY
HAVE A NICE DAY
-- Bon Jovi
stress,sleepiness and goth surround me now
imagine man..
bloody hell..
cant take it oredi
i haf 3 choices
1. Continue Studyin despite all dat
2. Rest a moment,which i prob will fall asleep
3. Slit my freakin wrist
nahh im joking about the 3rd choice
suddenly pop into my head
so natural sia
nvm
i'll find a way out
cuz i juz had the worst fuckin nite
i could ever have
u wanna noe how it feels..
well..
tink of it as
Hate.Helplessness.Sadness.Fear
mixed up all together and u still hafta
WHAT
sit down and study..wow sure..
Welcome to my life folks
where the sun never shines
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 10:13 PM|
__________
--
so far..
i spent my whole day studying
yupp
quite sian sia
bt nt bad la
My amaths done liao
at this condition
A2 is no prob le
juz hafta brush up on Binomial Theorem
budden my humanities
more or less haha
maybe 40% complete
my physics toO..
tink im gonna flunk it le la
Physics reli nt my thing
anyways Sec4s jiayous
prelims is impt OK..
god bless everyone
im beginning to feel tired
all the time..
InitialD withdrawal symtoms...
IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 6:25 PM|
__________
Thursday, September 01, 2005
--
Studied alot 2dae la
i bought this new assesment book
" Pass with Distinction: Additional Mathematics"
soo prelims..u bettea watch out
cuz somebody
i won't say who
but i tink u noe him very well
dat person will score Freakin' As man
not much time left..jiayous everyone
u noe..
the couple months
im always facinated
by dark stuff
lyk hmm
dark eyeshadows..
my tots r always revolving ard
death and suffering
i asked my uncle,
he says
im going thru a period of my life
called Goth..as in Gothic
i tink so too
but death and all dat
the topic attracts me to it
i wanna really write about it
make music about it
i noe its not alright
but somehow..i wanna live wif it
maybe i would
but lets leave it till after prelims..
den
let it all come loose..
rock my days awaY
IM NOT OKAYYYPEACE
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 11:33 PM|
__________
