Thursday, December 21, 2006
--
back from my 4 days church camp
that me and my cell planned
its like tiring in a sense that we had err...
only about a total of 16hrs of sleep
compared to the campers who had about 32
well..cant say its the best camp ever
but i think its still alright
i dont really feel happy about it
you know..?the satisfaction and all
it just didnt come
i feel like
i really really messed up
cuz although the campers said that
the camp was fun and it was alright
but deep underneath i can clearly see
that they think it sucks and just didnt wanna say it
its sorta crazy if you imagine it ya know
" hey hows the camp so far"
" it kinda sucks"
doesnt sound too nice isnt it
but i dont know maybe its just me
i feel that
it sucks when you know you screwed up
yet ppl still say those " ke tao hua"
thats what i hate about human nature
everybody knows its only a front
yet they play along
living very false lives of lies
AHHHim really feeling quite low now
sorry if i let anyone down
humans are such pathetic creatures
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 7:13 AM|
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Thursday, December 07, 2006
--
went for a trial training with the soccer boys
actually right
it wasnt so bad la
mainly because we didnt play a 5on 5 match
due to the sudden rain in d morning
thats what we did
hmm
started off with like
3 rds around half the field
den some movement exercises
den stretching
after that
is speed endurance training
we had to sprint from cone to cone
in shuttle run style
but the catch is
we have to move laterally in some places
abit shag
after that i felt abit groggy
but i just endured la
my fitness not there yet
den after that did fundamentals
like one touch returns
and heading
yupp
after doing those fundamentals
i realized that
mt technique is not
as horrid as i thought
its just that i often misjudge game situations
den it'll make me look bad
den we did set pieces,free kicks
den actually wanna play a 5v5
but the rain came
up to that point i think i did okay
cant really say of my performance
if we are really to play a small match
yupp den coach say will observe me for the next 2 weeks
which means
err the next 4 trainings
so i better work hard
esp fitness-wise.
and tmr going to work
lets hope it turns out well
den maybe i'll get some shirts for soccer
with the pay,heard that its not badd
alrighty
time to go chow
seeya guys some other time
Joga Bonito
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 3:06 AM|
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Tuesday, December 05, 2006
--
eugene helped me secure a trial
for tpjc soccer
im like happy
and sad at the same time
happy..?
cuz i can finally
play soccer properly
get trained and all that
but im sad
cuz it means that
i'll have to be on my toes
i'll have to
WORK HARDand prove that im worthy to join soccer
but it sucks when
you know that guys in the team
thinks that you're not worthy
thinks that if you get in
its all PURE LUCK
and they don't really hold you in decent regard
but i dont know
maybe they dont think that way
i'm quite confused la seriously
its hard to give ur best, at least for me
when your team doesnt realize you're special
you have something to offer to the team
if the tone was a little welcoming and all
maybe i wont be as upset
i can foresee it already
malcolm gets the ballhe looks upprepares to launch a clearancehis teammate at point blank range5metres aheadhe kicksand the ball goes into touch for a throw inor maybe even
its a high ball pumped up by d opposing goalkeepermalcolm challenges the winger for the headerhe MISJUDGES the flight of the ball!!GOOOOOAAALLLLLLsee what i mean
im just not cut out for competitive soccer
but since eugene got me a trial
i just have to go and prove them wrong
I AM GOODat least thats what i think i am
im gonna convince them
sigh
but do i really have the ability to do it
im afraid that during training i might get a bit
of a reality check
that the soccer team's standards are way higher
than my present ability
but seeing those ok-ok players in the team
makes me think that
"hey,maybe i can do it"
but my performances dont show it
i'm really hoping for that extra mental strength
to pull away from these negative thoughts
however.
get too optimistic
disappointment will HURT
get too pessimistic,
performance suffers
so..
i'll try my best
be kinda optimistic
and play my game
and hope that
it turns out for the better
no matter what outcome
Joga Bonito
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 5:51 AM|
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Sunday, December 03, 2006
--
you're so beautifulit hurts me to hate you for who you aredamn
im imagining things
its like nowadays
i keep conjuring up imaginary movie scenes
its like im meant to be a director or smth
hahaa okay man what a joke
people have to find ways to express themselves
i haven't found it yet
let's hope i find it soon okay
yupp just finished the kids camp
so tiring can..
hmm haha those enegetic little imps
they're soooo naughty la zz
almost pissed me off
but all in all
its a good camp and i enjoyed it alot
haha and i met 2 new friends
irene and chuan ting
okay la i see them in sch and all
just didnt really say hi or anything
well...
okay at least i've got time to study alrdy
left church camp to do only
yepp jiayous me!
rites
its time for me to sign off
i'll be back soon
PS:I SHREDED 1 kg wooooottttt
I love you enough to call you saviour,but not close enough to call you God.Joga Bonito
| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 6:15 AM|
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