Friday, October 12, 2007

--

I'm damn disgusted today.
really really.
i'm in the CRITICIZING MOOD
so lets begin.

there are 2 kinds of girls
i really really
h-a-t-e.

1. girls who spam vulgarities.whenever wherever
even more so if they really LOUD and ATTENTION SEEKING
and think they SO DAMNN PRETTY. *pukes

2. err okay the second one i dunno how to categorize.
so i'll just describe the situation
it really really turned my stomach inside out.

okay i was sittin on this bench
then i overheard these 2 girls talking
not that i want to hear but i somehow heard it.

Girl A: " hey i dare you..go to so-and-so's face,
and tell him his body is hot but his face sucks."

Girl B: "what..? i dont even like him"

Girl A: " Okay then i dare you to say that you like him and he should ditch his girlfriend for you"

Girl B: " woah"

Girl A: " yeah so you have to either be a bitch or a slut"

Girl B: " okay whats in it for me..? marche..?"

Girl A: " set"

at this point of the conversation
i was already plugging my mp3 in
im way too disgusted
how could girls actually
PLAY with stuff like that
just for the fun of it..?
call me old fashioned
i dont care

but i feel so..hmm
disappointed.
how can pretty girls turn out like this.
damn



| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 7:47 AM|

__________

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

--

its time to start enjoying what i do.
no point continuing doing stuff
just for the sake of doing it
soo yeah!
time to like studying
abit late that i realised though
well..i'll just have to do it.

i am insecure.
i am not interesting
because i am me


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 8:39 AM|

__________

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

--

its 12am
and
i cant sleep
but i know that i must sleep
becausee
my day tmr ends at 5pm
and if i dont sleep
i'll most certainly be dead

well i dont know
maybe i'll try again later.
try to sleep.

well.
i'm here blogging
partly because that i cant sleep
also partly because i want to get stuff off my chest.
dunno.
its like whenever i come to blog nowadays
its no longer
YAY TODAY WAS SUPER
its more melancholic(sp..?)
because my friends are not physically close
cuz we're all in diff schools and all
although i have some good friends la
but not you know..besties if you put it that way
and everythings so fake.
everybody's so superficial
sadly.
including me

or is it.
i'm not sure.
and i dont want to know either
haha
maybe this is what you called
" caught by the system"
where you dont do things the right way anymore
you do things and think about things
the most efficient way
well..the right way isnt always the most efficient way
I'm not like this last time.
what happened along the way..?
i wish i could know.
what i DO know
is that i better change.
fast

tonights one of those nights
where you think about stuff
whilst trying to get some shut-eye
well..
manymany images and voices swirl in my mind
whenever i close my eyes
i've exprienced these kind of nights
for so long.
but today's one kind of blew it out of the water
i feel icy..kind of cold and kind of painful
in my head.
and waves of heat..voices..words spoken and written.
my heart is racing
then suddenly a pair of scissors appear
cuts
and then ice again.
very very cold ice.
then sour
sour



i'm such a wuss.
4 years
and i'm still not over it
time to move on malcolm
please.

you weakling


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 9:03 AM|

__________