Wednesday, September 28, 2005

-th-

actuali my results
are quite ok in a sense dat
i improved la
all my subjects at the 60 range liao
last time i confirm haf 3 or 4 fail one
dun bliff can ask last time mi klazz ppl lor

budden wad im sad about is
not meeting expectation la
dats the VERY thing dat hurts me
First..my parents
when i told dem my results
dey were quite shocked oso la
cuz prelims dat few wks i studyin v hard
watch tv oso nv watch 10 mins
plus..i got my mp3 frm dem lor
den mi mum sae
hope dat i'll pay her back wif
a vjc uniform
hmmm

sumore dey nv scold mi
dats why it hurts la
sumore tongwei oso
i reli no face face him liao la
he spend so much time on me n kw
den
i nv gt a1 for both my maths
btw amaths b4..emaths a2
yaa lor
he haf Alevels this yr too
he still took the time to mentor me
den the result lidat

i dunno la now
lost le
everytime i take exam
will haf this CUF
aka Cock Up Factor

for some reason
the CUF will let me lose 10+ marks
2 grades...........
YES..my chem kena CUF
my maths also kena CUF
physics prac oso CUF
i wonder if theres a antidote

seriously if my O's oso CUF arh
dunid go vj liao
soo muz decrease or eliminate CUF
how..? im finding a solution
practice..? maybe bahs
not say i nv prac enuff
maybe nt exposed to much qns bahs
dats y panic
den will cock up
nice theory

yupp future plans..
i devised one
" Malcolm's VJC Entry Plan "
AKA MVJCEP
err
which means
O level study plan la
yupp
i'll try to ace it
no double faults
only aces lol -.-

many ppl sae
i can do it
but can i relii
dunid to answer
i noe myself the best
Sec1 till now i've been slackin la
nw is time for me to reli
do sumthing for miself
take chance
make a change
and breakaway

at most go tjc lor
wont die de rite
aiming for single digit
if i work hard
I DONT BELIVE I WILL FAIL
if i do...
i dunno wad i'll do to myself
honest
aiya im too paranoid

but dun feel lyk studying nw
confidence is at all time low
i tink nw u throw me one
integration qn i oso will wrong
when shall i start
according to MVJCEP
is nxt monday
exactly one mth before
hope dat
my confidence and
my smile return la

wont be smiling much these few weeks
sorie guys
im off to watch champions league
i hate slping
makes me think of unhappy stuff

so i tink everidae i'll tire myself out
so dat when i BOOM on the bed
immediate sleep

woah this entry so long
maybe it'll gt longer nxt time
when i haf nth to do
frm jan to march nxt yr
sadz la

kk i tink i better stop here

i always tell ppl to stay happy
yet i cant do it myself
wads the point..?

IM NOT OKAYYY
PEACE


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 11:30 PM|

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