Sunday, February 12, 2006

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update time once more
nothing much to say
i tink
now using this blog not to describe stuffs happened on dat day
or rather
just use it as an avenue for my thoughts bah
yupp
i gt 15 for my Os
abit sad..abit glad as well
the glass is half full
im staying in Meridian if everything goes well
which i seriously hope it does...
the others all gt great results..
and for people dat dare having a hard time choosing
as quoted frm Malcolm

" follow ur heart,screw the others"

yeah
you wont go wrong liao
at least im glad
i dont hafta choose
maybe dats a blessing too..?
anyway hafta thank god for this
ordeal to make us go thru
thank him everything
feel so thankful ..dunno why

seriously im in sorta a mess now
nt exactly a mess la
only dat i haf nth left to look forward to in life
at this point of time
nth to put all my time and effort into
studies.? music..? soccer..?
i suck at all of them..
i wanna learn so many stuff such that
i suck at every single one of them
sad case..happens to everything i do
but i dunno
just ranting bah i guess

i'll just take life as it goes along
seriously nt much i can do
nt much i can control already
everythings so unpredictable
everyones changing
and i dont feel the same...
people coming and going..
going and coming..
i cant keep up la.
maybe im juz thinking too deep into it
life is simpler when you look things on the surface aint it..?
but..the surface aint always the truth..and you urself know it
dats wad contradictory about life..
the enigma for which we spend all our living years solving

these few weeks not easy
i get demoralized very easily
i dont even haf confidence in playing guitar already
no interest in the next days events
cuz
i dunno
i cant believe i changed so much
is this called being more matured..?
or more pessimistic..?
AH
i feel so fake
i haf such a poor outlook on life yet
i live it like it rocks
is this normal.?
am i normal.?

right now
im quite lost la
i couldnt find something..or someone
to anchor myself to
maybe dats wad spiritual empitiness is all abt..?
wad people say only the void
the Lord can fill..?
im nt sure myself
but if God can hear me
i wish this void would go away
and change my life

these questions fo thru my mind
everytime i sit down and think abt stuff
yeah
this is the true-est confession abt life ive written so far
maybe...
theres a lesson i can learn out of this..?
the future holds what..?
i haf no idea..
but i hope
its something gooddd


PEACE


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 8:22 AM|

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