Tuesday, December 05, 2006

--

eugene helped me secure a trial
for tpjc soccer
im like happy
and sad at the same time
happy..?
cuz i can finally
play soccer properly
get trained and all that
but im sad
cuz it means that
i'll have to be on my toes
i'll have to WORK HARD
and prove that im worthy to join soccer
but it sucks when
you know that guys in the team
thinks that you're not worthy
thinks that if you get in
its all PURE LUCK
and they don't really hold you in decent regard
but i dont know
maybe they dont think that way
i'm quite confused la seriously
its hard to give ur best, at least for me
when your team doesnt realize you're special
you have something to offer to the team
if the tone was a little welcoming and all
maybe i wont be as upset
i can foresee it already


malcolm gets the ball
he looks up
prepares to launch a clearance
his teammate at point blank range
5metres ahead
he kicks
and the ball goes into touch for a throw in

or maybe even
its a high ball pumped up
by d opposing goalkeeper
malcolm challenges the winger for the header
he MISJUDGES the flight of the ball!!
GOOOOOAAALLLLLL


see what i mean
im just not cut out for competitive soccer
but since eugene got me a trial
i just have to go and prove them wrong
I AM GOOD
at least thats what i think i am
im gonna convince them
sigh
but do i really have the ability to do it
im afraid that during training i might get a bit
of a reality check
that the soccer team's standards are way higher
than my present ability
but seeing those ok-ok players in the team
makes me think that
"hey,maybe i can do it"
but my performances dont show it
i'm really hoping for that extra mental strength
to pull away from these negative thoughts
however.
get too optimistic
disappointment will HURT
get too pessimistic,
performance suffers
so..
i'll try my best
be kinda optimistic
and play my game
and hope that
it turns out for the better
no matter what outcome

Joga Bonito


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 5:51 AM|

__________