Tuesday, October 02, 2007

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its 12am
and
i cant sleep
but i know that i must sleep
becausee
my day tmr ends at 5pm
and if i dont sleep
i'll most certainly be dead

well i dont know
maybe i'll try again later.
try to sleep.

well.
i'm here blogging
partly because that i cant sleep
also partly because i want to get stuff off my chest.
dunno.
its like whenever i come to blog nowadays
its no longer
YAY TODAY WAS SUPER
its more melancholic(sp..?)
because my friends are not physically close
cuz we're all in diff schools and all
although i have some good friends la
but not you know..besties if you put it that way
and everythings so fake.
everybody's so superficial
sadly.
including me

or is it.
i'm not sure.
and i dont want to know either
haha
maybe this is what you called
" caught by the system"
where you dont do things the right way anymore
you do things and think about things
the most efficient way
well..the right way isnt always the most efficient way
I'm not like this last time.
what happened along the way..?
i wish i could know.
what i DO know
is that i better change.
fast

tonights one of those nights
where you think about stuff
whilst trying to get some shut-eye
well..
manymany images and voices swirl in my mind
whenever i close my eyes
i've exprienced these kind of nights
for so long.
but today's one kind of blew it out of the water
i feel icy..kind of cold and kind of painful
in my head.
and waves of heat..voices..words spoken and written.
my heart is racing
then suddenly a pair of scissors appear
cuts
and then ice again.
very very cold ice.
then sour
sour



i'm such a wuss.
4 years
and i'm still not over it
time to move on malcolm
please.

you weakling


| Malcolm. fought for sanity @ 9:03 AM|

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